Discover the Power of Listening

I could tell you exactly how to listen best to certain persons and gain the highest rapport, but I’m going to let you discover this for yourself.

The truth of the matter is that most people want to feel like they’re a part of something, big or small, victor or victim, most people want to feel attached.  If you haven’t seen it yet, this is the power of listening.

Who is Carl Rogers

Carl Rogers is a psychologist that developed client centered therapy. This matters in the workplace and for your group of cohorts because he is the one that found out we need four things in dialogue in order to relate to others:

1. Being present and connected to what the other person is saying.

2. Being congruent; or maintaining a consistency between who you are, what you do, and where you fit within the world.

3. Showing positive regard

4. Having empathy; best said, “perceiving where the other person is coming from”  Extra Help on Perceptions.

What this Means

Being Present

 This means that we aren’t thinking about what we should say while the other is still talking, or interrupting them (especially in an argument, they may dig themselves in a hole; be sure to provide a ladder).

If you truly want to be present in a conversation, wait for the last word.  Using the last word as your first word in your next sentence practices reflective listening on a minimal scale. You’ll find out how this small difference makes an impact on someone who is upset or has a budding idea.

Being Congruent

  Know who you are to that person.  If you’re a strong figure, be strong.  Chances are they are telling you something because they already trust you for how they perceive you, play your part.

Positive Regard

 Towards the person.  Do you remember when your supervisor wasn’t listening to your pitch?  Their response may have been “No, because..” or “Yeah, but..”  these are TRIGGER phrases for most people.

Remember that people want to feel a part of something?  If you utilize their idea as a foundation for the response, they will reward you for it by contributing more.  Try responding with, “Yes, and..”.  It is even possible to say No to the idea while still “Yes, and”-ing the person.

Example: Yes, and while the idea for fireworks on stage is a great conception, we have a fire code policy that prohibits the use of pyrotechnics.

(see the reflection of the idea, you already know what question was asked without seeing the complete dialogue)

Empathy

 Simple, see things from their perspective asking yourself, how did they come to this idea?

 

Most People Want to Feel Like They’re Apart of Something

 

Adding value to your listening will add value to relationships in and outside of work.  This value is worth more than a paycheck, and will be paid back by the individual in terms of commitment.

If you don’t have the commitment that you need in your organization or you’re actively seeking stronger team follow-through discover how we train here.


Rogers, C. (1951). Client-Centered Therapy. Houghton-Mifflin, Boston.

 

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